fredag 12 december 2014

Fairy Fucking tale

The Magical Staff                                                Emil TE1B

Once upon a time, there lived a giant named Forthoomûl! He ruled the kingdom of happiness with his long, thick magical stick, which could force any creature to do as he commands! With the stick he was the most powerful creature in the land.
He forced the lands free people to offer almost all their food so they had to starve. And the people who refused to offer their food was captured by Forthoomûls undead army, and sent to a dark cave behind the giants black castle. Where they waited to get eaten!

But one day! A merchant from another land came to the kingdom. A brave young knight named Jake! He had heard the rumors of the evil giant Forthoomûl.
He went to the giants castle and forced him to fight in a duel! If Jake won, he would get the long, thick magical stick. And if the giant won, he would get Jakes life! They fought with sword and shield! And they fought and fought and fought and fought until one day! Jake stabbed the giant right in the heart! Forthoomûl fell and the free people were happy! Jake got the long, thick magical staff and ruled the kingdom!

But after a while, Jake got corrupt by the power of the long, thick magical staff! He had become a tyrant just like the giant! The people knew how to defeat the controller of the long, thick magical staff. They stole the staff while he slept and threw it in the lake and it went away with the stream. Jake vanished and everyone was happy!

Threehoundred years later!
In a small village called in the kingdom. There lived Charlie and his mother Evelyn. They were happy and was pleased with their lives. Everything was good until one day when Charlie were fishing in the nearby river!

The hook had caught something big! It was a long, thick staff!
Charlie was fascinated by the colours of the long, thick staff. He took it home and showed it to his mother.
“Look what I found in the river mother!”
“What is so special about that long, thick staff dear?” Said his mother.
“Look at it! It is beautiful!” Said Charlie

A rumor about the long, thick staff had spread around the kingdom and the high lords became curious. Charlie fell in love with the long, thick staff and had slept with it for days. But one day, a noble man came with two guards and knocked on the door.
They wanted to see the long, thick staff and Charlie let them.
“This staff is beautiful! How much do you peasants want for it?” Said the man.
“It is not for sale! It is mine!” Yelled Charlie.
“You got no power here peasant” Said one of the guards and laughed.

The noble man took the long, thick staff, threw a heavy bag of gold coins on the ground and went away with the two guards. Charlie cried and felt like he lost a family member.
“What was so special about this staff?” He thought. “Why does the noble lords want it?”

Charlie went to the village library and searched for information about the long, thick staff. He searched and searched and searched but found nothing. Right when he going to give up, an old man showed him an old book, with the label: Jake and Forthoomûl.
Charlie read and found out about everything! How people got possesed by the great power of the long, thick magical staff. He read about all the terrible things that will happen if he does not destroy the staff!

Charlie went to the castle wich was guarded by the noble mans big cyclops! He knew that the cyclops did not see well, because it had a scar right across the eye. So he snuck past it easily. While he was in the castle, he had no idea where to go! He went from room to room but did not find the staff. He sat down on a chair in some kind of library and started dreaming about apple pie. He dreamt about that shiny red apple and the sweet dough his mother made to him for his birthday.
Charlie woke up and realized a guard was looking at him!

The guard took him to the lord. He laughed and stepped closer to Charlie.
“How dare you sneak in my castle peasant?” Said the lord.
“Please mylord! The long, thick magical staff is dangerous! We have to destroy it!” Cried Charlie.
“I will give you the staff, if you answer three riddles!”
“I will do anything!” Said Charlie and went down on knee.
“First one, what goes round and round but never comes back?”
“The clock!” Yelled Charlie.
“That is right, what is it you see when you are not seeing anything, but can not see when you see something?” Said the lord and smiled.
“That is a tough one. Darkness!”
“Last one, what is it that has teeth but no mouth?” Said then lord and looked worried.
“A saw” Yelled Charlie!
“Take your bloody staff and leave my sight!”

Charlie took the staff back to his house and dug i big hole for it. He threw the long, thick staff in the hole and filled it. With the gold they got from the lord, they bought more land, three pigs, three goats and one dog.

The staff was gone forever and Charlie saved the kingdom and he lived happily ever after!

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